Anyone who is going through fertility treatment or has experienced failed treatment will know all too well that this time of year can be very difficult. Another year has gone past and still no baby. Christmas is a time to spend with family and children, therefore it is only a painful reminder of what you so long for but still do not have: a baby. Shops start advertising Christmas earlier and earlier each year, adverts with children and toys and families, it feels like you are completely surrounded by the reminder and there is no getting away from it.
It is important to acknowledge that these feelings are completely normal. You are allowed to feel however you want to feel. Sadness, isolation are all common human emotions when dealing with issues like infertility, but you are not alone.
You may feel like packing up and going away until January when it’s all blown over. However, if that is not possible it’s worth doing everything you can to prepare for the difficult few weeks ahead. Everyone at IVI are here for you and understands how tough the journey can be, therefore we have pulled together some useful tips to get you through the festive period.
Remember it’s okay to not be ok!
Infertility is a condition with a huge emotional impact so the distress you feel is likely to be significant. The best thing you can do is accept it and be honest about the way you are feeling. Put yourself first and speak to those around you and help them understand why you’re struggling to get into the Christmas spirit this year.
Prepare for the family pressures
Christmas can cause family pressures at the best of times. Catching up with relatives that you see once a year, listening to that uncle that you’ve never really liked. But when suffering from infertility those pressures are only heightened as you wait for the elephant in the room to come out when they ask ‘when are you having children?’. There is never really a good way to answer that question that won’t trigger emotion but the reality is you shouldn’t have to answer questions like that in the first place. No one says you have to attend, do things your way and do what you want to do.
Break those old traditions and make new ones
Christmas doesn’t need to be traditional this year. Make new traditions, go away for Christmas, have an Adults only day. Use it as an opportunity to go to a spa, relax and recharge and prepare yourself for the next step of your journey in the new year.
When you are going through a tough time it is sometimes easy to forget about yourself and your own wellbeing. This Christmas take some time off, eat lots of yummy food, catch up with all of your friends and plan some ‘you’ time.
Remember to do what is right for you this year. Know your limits and don’t agree to do anything that might make it harder for you.
It is going to be tough, but so are you!
Visit your counsellor
IVI have in house counsellors to support you on every step of your fertility journey. If you are finding this time of year hard we are here for you. We can book you in for either an online Skype session or feel free to come into the clinic.
Whatever you decide to do this Christmas, everyone at IVI wishes you a lovely day and a fresh start for 2020.