{"id":51495,"date":"2019-04-10T10:00:28","date_gmt":"2019-04-10T08:00:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ivi.uk\/?p=51495"},"modified":"2024-02-23T14:55:41","modified_gmt":"2024-02-23T12:55:41","slug":"10-questions-never-ask-someone-trying-get-pregnant","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ivi.uk\/blog\/10-questions-never-ask-someone-trying-get-pregnant\/","title":{"rendered":"10 questions you should never ask someone who is trying to get pregnant"},"content":{"rendered":"
Like asking a friend whether they got dressed in the dark this morning, there are some questions that should simply never be asked.<\/p>\n
When it comes to a friend who is trying to conceive<\/strong>, direct comments about their fertility<\/strong> or lack of it, suggestions about lifestyle changes or treatments for infertility<\/strong>, or even a suggestion they don\u2019t know how lucky they are, are an absolute no-no. The majority of people who have no trouble getting pregnant may not realise that this is far from a rare occurrence. Around 1 in 7 couples in the UK may discover that they have difficulty conceiving. This is approximately 3.5 million people, and between 1991 and 2016 there were over 1.1 million IVF<\/strong> fertility treatment<\/strong> cycles in UK licenced clinics. That covers a lot of people, so one or more of them is likely to be among your friends.<\/p>\n
1. How long have you been trying to get pregnant?<\/h3>\n
This is the sort of question that smacks more of busybody than concerned friend. It\u2019s really nobody\u2019s business except that of the couple or person concerned how long they have been trying to conceive<\/strong>. You can be quite confident that they have researched all the standard advice about timescales. The current advice is that they should keep trying unassisted for a year unless they\u2019re 35 or over, in which case 6 months is a more realistic timescale after which to seek some help. If your friend has been trying for a long time she is probably distressed and acutely sensitive, so any comment from you that suggesting that it\u2019s too long or not long enough can come across as uncaring and dismissive.<\/p>\n
2.\u00a0Why don\u2019t you forget about it and just try to relax?<\/h3>\n
Telling someone to stop thinking about what\u2019s foremost in their mind is not really a friendly response, and one that\u2019s sure to make your friend shut down rather than share her worries. In any case, she\u2019s bound to be familiar with the argument (and whether it contains a grain of truth or is simply a meaningless platitude), that stopping worrying will miraculously achieve the desired result. There\u2019s a lot to be said for cultivating a calm state of mind whether or not it leads to the desired pregnancy though, and the best way you can encourage this is to listen, hear her out and offer your support. \u2018How can I help?\u2019 is a much better question than one beginning with \u2018Why don\u2019t you\u2026?\u2019<\/p>\n